Beware the sweaty man

Sweaty man is a legend. I've been working for the library for some time now, and I've been hearing about sweaty man my whole career. I figured he was just an urban legend. Someone Grandpa used to teach me a moral. He was sweaty...and an a complete and utter a-hole. My friend says she saw sweaty man once, and then saw him at a liquor store about 5 miles away. He's probably all sweaty because he walks such a far distance. He's lewd, crude and rude. He demands the kind of customer service that you just don't get from people who get paychecks from the state. He chats on fetish websites.

Well,

I SAW SWEATY MAN WITH MY OWN TWO EYES YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!

He was sweaty. He dripped sweat on our nice tile floors. He was dick. It was everything he could have been.


I can't wait to tell my grandkids.

Amazing Names Thursday

Altronic

What?

A google search for "Altronic" turns up a bunch of engineering crap.

If machines are capable of lying to us at this point, what's next?

Patron: I got a notice that I owe you $6.
Librarian: Yes, according to the computer here, you returned a movie very late.
Patron: Well, that punk-ass bitch is lying to you. 

I've already asked too much

Patron: O.K. I am wantin' to write a book and I wanna do some research. 
Librarian: O.K. what can I find for you?
Patron: Um, so do y'all got any, like, sex books?

wOW!

27 followers! I've had this blog for 2 years now. Thanks, y'all. Two gals who've been following my blog since ::roughly:: the beginning are biscuit and dainty squid Thanks, lassies.

Today it was raining cats and dogs when the library closed. A curmudgeonly old man, who, daily, tells a joke about a local university and naked pussies, said to me, "you're gonna turn an old man out into this weather?" and I said, "I'd be glad to."

A good way to be reported to human resources

Patron: Where's y'alls movies at?
Librarian: Preposition Street.

On second thought...

Patron: Dang, lady, you got a pretty lookin' sistah?

I think about this for about 2 seconds. This is the man who just asked, "what do I gotta plug in to be on wireless?"

Me: No

Sisters, you're welcome.