You tell 'em, Old man

Today I overheard an extra fun tidbit in the library today. There are two old men who come in everyday and everyone in the neighborhood knows them. The first one, actually, is known by everyone in the whole city because he is an eccentric lunatic with a list of priors that include things like "menacing." He likes to talk big and meaningful, but I learned from someone else in the hood that he has never had a job and lives off of a trust fund. The second one just says funny things occasionally and is generally good natured.

First old guy:  The students at ::Local:: University don't know Shakespeare! Or Philosophy! They should ban alcohol there and become a dry campus!
Other Old Guy: College without beer is like sausage without sauerkraut. Who wants that?

Amazing Names Thursday

Our son is going to be so full of life! Let's call him Spiritson!

I think you wanted the KKK meeting

Patron on the phone: I'm interested in the program you're having this Saturday, hosted by the housing authority.
Me on the phone: Yes, the one about accomodating your properties for Section 8?
Patron: Yeah. Are they going to be talking about how to keep black  people out of your buildings?

It's part of training.

Patron: When you guys get hired here, do you have to learn Shoalin-Monk-Kun-Fu?

I totally said, "yes."

Everyone, get your aluminum foil helmets on...

Patron: I'm sorry I can't come to your branch anymore. There is too much electro-magnetic contamination.

Amazing Names Thursday

It's Thursday, people

Ja'sin.


what a bad ass.

You took the words right outta my mouth

Patron: I need a lot of helping getting some some books. I need a beginner's book of yoga, a biography of Abraham Lincoln, a book of watercolor landscapes....


and so on...


Patron: I'm so sorry I'm wasting your time. 
Me: No, it's my job.


and so on....

25 requests later:
 
Patron: Can I do something for you? Can I call your supervisor and say nice things? Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Me: Your taxes pay for me to be here and do this for you. Really. Just keep coming back. That's all
Patron: Wow. Thanks.   


Next Patron in line: Man, did that guy wanna pee in your mouth or what?