Some people have real problems

If you try to upload a picture of your penis to the computer, you should not ask library staff for help.

Amazing Names

O.K. forget Thursday.

If your last name begins with "L," you should not name your daughter Genita.

Genita L.

Cruelty. Seriously.

I'm going to call everyone when I get home so that you know that I got there safely

Patron: Can I see your collection of books bound in human skin?

Turns out, it's an O.K. question. Many libraries have books bound in human skin in their special collections.

You tell 'em, Old man

Today I overheard an extra fun tidbit in the library today. There are two old men who come in everyday and everyone in the neighborhood knows them. The first one, actually, is known by everyone in the whole city because he is an eccentric lunatic with a list of priors that include things like "menacing." He likes to talk big and meaningful, but I learned from someone else in the hood that he has never had a job and lives off of a trust fund. The second one just says funny things occasionally and is generally good natured.

First old guy:  The students at ::Local:: University don't know Shakespeare! Or Philosophy! They should ban alcohol there and become a dry campus!
Other Old Guy: College without beer is like sausage without sauerkraut. Who wants that?

Amazing Names Thursday

Our son is going to be so full of life! Let's call him Spiritson!

I think you wanted the KKK meeting

Patron on the phone: I'm interested in the program you're having this Saturday, hosted by the housing authority.
Me on the phone: Yes, the one about accomodating your properties for Section 8?
Patron: Yeah. Are they going to be talking about how to keep black  people out of your buildings?

It's part of training.

Patron: When you guys get hired here, do you have to learn Shoalin-Monk-Kun-Fu?

I totally said, "yes."