The supernatural at the library

Patron: Can you help me look up my obituary?
Librarian: Sure thing. Wait...what? Your obituary? Like, as in, you died and you want to find your own obituary in the paper?
Patron: Yes.
Librarian: Uh, ok. We have some databases here we can search through nationwide to check for names or dates.
::procedes to look up patron's name in several places, as well as date of death. Comes up with nothing. Relief::
Librarian: Looks like no one wrote one for you. You only get a death notice if someone notices your death.
Patron: Huh. Weird.
Librarian: Yeah. Totally weird.