Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I think you wanted the KKK meeting

Patron on the phone: I'm interested in the program you're having this Saturday, hosted by the housing authority.
Me on the phone: Yes, the one about accomodating your properties for Section 8?
Patron: Yeah. Are they going to be talking about how to keep black  people out of your buildings?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

It's part of training.

Patron: When you guys get hired here, do you have to learn Shoalin-Monk-Kun-Fu?

I totally said, "yes."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Everyone, get your aluminum foil helmets on...

Patron: I'm sorry I can't come to your branch anymore. There is too much electro-magnetic contamination.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Amazing Names Thursday

It's Thursday, people


what a bad ass.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

You took the words right outta my mouth

Patron: I need a lot of helping getting some some books. I need a beginner's book of yoga, a biography of Abraham Lincoln, a book of watercolor landscapes....

and so on...

Patron: I'm so sorry I'm wasting your time. 
Me: No, it's my job.

and so on....

25 requests later:
Patron: Can I do something for you? Can I call your supervisor and say nice things? Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Me: Your taxes pay for me to be here and do this for you. Really. Just keep coming back. That's all
Patron: Wow. Thanks.   

Next Patron in line: Man, did that guy wanna pee in your mouth or what?