I seriously considered not posting this one, because who the hell would believe any ass-hole on crack would name a kid Aquanetta. One co-worker, who knows about this blog, told me I should, because she and her husband went to school with an Aquanette, so it's really not that uncommon.
Patron:I am calling to complain about an employee. Librarian: Ok Patron: This particular employee does not call my friend by his proper title, which 'Doctor" Librarian: Does this particular patron know that this particular patron is a doctor? Patron: No.
Did any of you in Iowa see that giant fire ball meteor last night? I wish I had. All I saw last night was a little girl named Star Comet. First name Star, middle name Comet. Here's the kicker - her last name went right along with the theme Mom and Dad were going for.
I have two kitties. One is named after the Mister's favorite mathematician and mine is named after an infamous politician.
We live in the attic of a 118 year old house.
I love all things vintage, and feel really guilty when I shop at Target. Damn Target for having REALLY CUTE STUFF.
My favorite food is guacamole. My favorite guacamole is the kind I make myself. If I am too impatient to let avocados ripen on their own, I buy it from Chipotle, which comes in at a distant second. Who wants my recipe?
I have been known to eat cheesecake for breakfast. But only once. And by once, I mean, like, 4 times in the past month.
I would be a vegan if cheese were not so good.
I would be a vegetarian if bacon were not so good.
I would really healthy if bacon and cheese were not so good. Also, if I did not eat cheesecake for breakfast so often.
On our first date, the Mister and I got our napes pierced. It was love.
I got my first pedicure last month. I am hooked and I am not looking back.
I wish Sarah Vowell narrated my life. Her stories on NPR crack me up because her delivery and tone is so sarcastic. And generally awesome.
I wear SPF 70 sunscreen on my face, arms, and legs every day. I am 10% paranoid about cancer and 90% paranoid about wrinkles. Finding foundation powder to match my pale force is really difficult.
One book I have always meant to read is Moby Dick. I do not know why I never have. It is my Mom's fave.
I don't watch TV because I get all the entertainment I need at work. You'll never know my name, where this library where I work is located, or anything else connecting this blog to the real world in order to protect a patron's right to privacy. Some things are just too funny to not share, so I use this blog as an outlet. If you somehow figure out who or where I am, please keep it to yourself.