I think you might have bigger problems that you realize

Patron: What kind of foods have a lot of fiber?
Librarian: Pretty much everything has a small amount, but some have a lot more than others. Mostly plant based foods.
Patron: So butter has fiber in it?
Librarian: Um. No.
Patron: What about cheese and meatballs?  

Whose job is it to sit around and speculate this stuff?

Patron: You know the 30 pieces of silver Judas was paid to betray Jesus? How much is that in today's money?

Not only did Google provide our librarian with a plethora of sites that answered that question, but it finished her question for her as she was asking it!

The answer might be $950...or possibly $5,000. You need to define, "piece."

for you? or your "friend"

patron on phone: Are there any independent labs in town that test liquids for parasites?