You're borrowing that kid? Did you check him out like a book?

A man walks into the library with 6 kids, all of which are calling him "Dad." 3 have blonde hair, 2 are Asian and one is black. 

A woman approaches him and smiles and says, "Wow! Are all of these kids yours?" 

man: "No, actually, just these 3 here" ::points to blonde kids:: 

"and we bought these" 2 ::points to Asian girls:: 

"and we're renting this one" ::black kid waves at woman and smiles, then quickly loses interest and comes to ask me questions about lizards::

and the parent of the year award goes to...

Woman I've Never Seen Before: You have really pretty eye make up. 

Me: Thank You. ::as people say this to me often::

WINSB: When is your birthday?

Me: ::ALERT! ALERT! Here is when things get weird:: November 2nd

WINSB: I was just gonna say...cuz everyone should wear really nice make up on their birthday.

Machines can laugh at people. Did you know that?

Gentleman - white gold teeth, oversized hooded sweatshirt with lame guns, oversized crispy baseball  cap on sideways : I wanna print some shit

Book girl - pants too baggy from too much dieting, but unable to afford to buy new pants because of buying too many boxes of 100 calorie packs: ok, what would you like to print?

Gentleman: my confirmation email from wal-mart.com so I can go pick my shit up. they don't give you the shit at the store you buy online unless you got the email.

Book girl: ok, it'll be fifteen cents to print that out.

Gentleman: yeah, I put twenty cents in the machine and it just laughed at me

Book girl: machine?

Gentleman: that machine ::points to copy machine::

Book girl: right, I'll just print it for you at the circulation desk. ::prints purchase confirmation email from wal-mart.com for TEN COUCHES::

Remember the towers in the show The Wire? and how everyone used to sit on a ratty, old couch in the yard to watch what was going on? This is immediately what I thought of, only, you wouldn't want to waste a brand new couch for that, now would you?