I think you wanted the KKK meeting

Patron on the phone: I'm interested in the program you're having this Saturday, hosted by the housing authority.
Me on the phone: Yes, the one about accomodating your properties for Section 8?
Patron: Yeah. Are they going to be talking about how to keep black  people out of your buildings?

It's part of training.

Patron: When you guys get hired here, do you have to learn Shoalin-Monk-Kun-Fu?

I totally said, "yes."

Everyone, get your aluminum foil helmets on...

Patron: I'm sorry I can't come to your branch anymore. There is too much electro-magnetic contamination.

Amazing Names Thursday

It's Thursday, people

Ja'sin.


what a bad ass.

You took the words right outta my mouth

Patron: I need a lot of helping getting some some books. I need a beginner's book of yoga, a biography of Abraham Lincoln, a book of watercolor landscapes....


and so on...


Patron: I'm so sorry I'm wasting your time. 
Me: No, it's my job.


and so on....

25 requests later:
 
Patron: Can I do something for you? Can I call your supervisor and say nice things? Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Me: Your taxes pay for me to be here and do this for you. Really. Just keep coming back. That's all
Patron: Wow. Thanks.   


Next Patron in line: Man, did that guy wanna pee in your mouth or what?

Would you like fries with that?

Patron: So you guys are really gonna go ahead with building that new library over on the east side?
Me: Yep. It's gonna happen.
Patron: That's a shame.
Me: Whu...why?
Patron: Look at all the nut jobs in here. You think the people in that neighborhood want these people hanging out around there? You guys are like McDonald's. You destroy the fabric of the neighborhood.   

Amazing Names Thursday

Messiah. I don't know what to say about that. I mean, people name their kid Jesus all the time, but that's just a regular ole name.