It would cost you more to just drive down town!

This was one of those moments when I have never been more grateful to have had a witness. I could not believe the absurdity that came out of this woman's mouth. She was upset that she had to pay a fine and this is what she said to me:
Patron: I hope I don't get resentful over this because I'm an alcoholic and when I can't drink I get resentful and when I get resentful I go turn tricks on Main St. for $3.

The part I couldn't get over the most was the $3 part. Really? That's it? She was about 55 years old, so that probably had something to do with her reduced price.