Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Amazing Names 1

We have a new installment here at icantpaymyfines and it's called "Amazing Names." As you can imagine, I come across lots of people through out the day. Most of them have boring names. John Smith, Amy Johnson, etc. Most of them are names that you would not think twice about. Sometimes, however, there are names that I see of patrons who make me question their childhoods, because they were obviously named by parents who were under the influence of unnaturalness when they told that nurse what to write down. Maybe, as in Oprah's case, it was the nurse who heard wrong, and the parents just decided to go with it. Either way, no one should ever name their baby Destiny's Child Smith*.

I found a library card on the floor of the children's department. There was no name written on the back, so I took it to the computer, scanned it, and hollered out for "Destiny's Smith." A little blond girl** came running to the desk and said, "that's me!" I told her that she had left her card lying around, and she should take better care of it because someone could steal it and check out 20 movies on it, and before you know it, where will be a repo man at your door demanding the very TV on which you could have been watching your own movies. "While I've got you here, though, Destiny, I need to change your name in the computer, because it looks like we have a typo. It says 'Destiny's' possessive, with an apostrophe and an 'S.'

"Yes, that's my first name. Destiny's with an apostrophe and an 'S.' My middle name is Child, like the band." I resisted telling her that this early 21st century noise was actually a group of performing artists, and not a band, but I was still in shock over the fact that I just met someone named, "Destiny's Child."

For her sake, though, she seemed to like her name, and was a very happy little girl.

*Not her real last name.
** Yes, she was white.

1 comment:

The Dainty Squid said...

Poor Girl!!
I can't believe someone would actually name their child "Destiny's"