Paranoia will only get you so far

Today's experience is brought to you by a friend at a neighboring branch of mine.

Librarian: Okay, Lucy, here are the books you ordered.
Patron's Grandmother: Lucy? Her name is LaQueena.
Librarian: Oh, sorry. I must have heard wrong.
Patron's Grandmother: It's all those drugs you and your sister do. I saw you in my neighbor's backyard.
Librarian: I don't have a sister and I don't know where you live.

This woman found out the hard way that it is dangerous to accuse someone of being a drug user, because when the cop on duty at the branch* overheard her, he forced her to tell the police what she knew about possible drug use in the neighborhood, and then she had to admit she was lying.

*totally jealous of this