No animals except for service dogs allowed in the library

Patron: Mam, could you hold these books for me? I hurt my shoulder.
Librarian: I'm so sorry to hear that, Sir. How did you hurt yourself?
Patron: Playing tug-o-war. I'd like to play tug-o-war with you. I'll have to get my snake outta the way though.

So, I apologize on the behalf of all library staff everywhere. If we don't ask you how you're doing, it's because we usually get responses like this.